EMPLOYEE NOTICE
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much S.H.I.T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of S.H.I.T they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough S.H.I.T, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
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New Congressional Programs
#1
Posted 25 April 2011 - 08:55 AM
1991 YJ 3" SOA, 3" BL, 38.5 boggers, SYE, EB D44/8.8, 4.10s, 1999 4.0 High Output motor, BIG rear bumper, 10K vortex winch w/ wireless remote, Square Headlights plus a few extra
1989 YJ. 2"BL, semi-functional snorkel, little "girlie" tires
2001 F350 7.3L turbo diesel, Square Headlights
2007 Honda Rancher 4x4 27" Vampire tires, Square Headlights
Member: South Florida Jeep Club
FOUNDER: Square Headlight Intense Team
"Right is Right even if no one does it & Wrong is Wrong even if everyone does it."
"NEVER look down on someone unless you are helping them up"
"I'm not smart but I can lift heavy things"
1989 YJ. 2"BL, semi-functional snorkel, little "girlie" tires
2001 F350 7.3L turbo diesel, Square Headlights
2007 Honda Rancher 4x4 27" Vampire tires, Square Headlights
Member: South Florida Jeep Club
FOUNDER: Square Headlight Intense Team
"Right is Right even if no one does it & Wrong is Wrong even if everyone does it."
"NEVER look down on someone unless you are helping them up"
"I'm not smart but I can lift heavy things"
#2
Posted 25 April 2011 - 10:08 AM
#3
Posted 25 April 2011 - 01:04 PM
I actually looked this up in Snopes and it is confirmed as a new Bill being presented before the house.
Way to go Cracker!
Way to go Cracker!
El Niņo
Experience is defined as something you get, after you need it.
Give the world the best you have. The best will come back to you...
There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs.
"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." 9th Commandment.
"Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust." George Washington, Rule 89 of Civility and Decent Behavior.
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Life Member: South Florida Jeep Club
#4
Posted 26 April 2011 - 05:36 AM
I think we all got raped and screwed on our property value
02 Red TJ angler sport
MTR's 35x12.50, OX, front & rear Dana 44,30, 456 gears, WARN bumpers front & rear tire carrier, 6"longarm skyjacker lift ,Johnny joints, BDS 9500 shocks, Tom wood's drive shaft, Cobra 75 cb, Garmin GPS, 4' firestick, 6" kc slimlights, flowmaster 40 exhaust, WARN 9.5 ti, Poison spyder rockers, WARN steering box skidplate, Delta xenon headlights, K&N Air intake, 1 1/4 JKS bodylift, TP paper
2008 SouthEast JeepFest Champ of the ramp & 50/50 offroad team ANGLER'S YOU TUBE
MTR's 35x12.50, OX, front & rear Dana 44,30, 456 gears, WARN bumpers front & rear tire carrier, 6"longarm skyjacker lift ,Johnny joints, BDS 9500 shocks, Tom wood's drive shaft, Cobra 75 cb, Garmin GPS, 4' firestick, 6" kc slimlights, flowmaster 40 exhaust, WARN 9.5 ti, Poison spyder rockers, WARN steering box skidplate, Delta xenon headlights, K&N Air intake, 1 1/4 JKS bodylift, TP paper
2008 SouthEast JeepFest Champ of the ramp & 50/50 offroad team ANGLER'S YOU TUBE
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